


This is (not) a Stargate

by TFALokiwriter



Category: Stargate SG-1, Stargate SG-1 RPF
Genre: Gaters, Gen, Humor, Stargate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6489619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFALokiwriter/pseuds/TFALokiwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is <em>not</em> a Stargate."</p><p>Suddenly the Stargate starts moving making unusual sounds as the locks came into place. </p><p><em> Inspired by the comment section to this website http://www.themarysue.com/stargate-reboot-writers/ </em> </p><p>Short story.</p><p>Pre-The Changeling.</p><p>Started: 4/7/2016</p><p>Completed 4/8/2016 at 8:56 PM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is (not) a Stargate

**Author's Note:**

> Written in two days because I was watching a couple episodes of Stargate SG-1. Impressive, eh? I tried to give it a plot and make it humorous. I hope I suceeded! :D  
> Written in two days because I was watching a couple episodes of Stargate SG-1. Impressive, eh? I tried to give it a plot and make it humorous. I hope I suceeded! :D

It was July 23rd, 2017. There was a small crowd of people gathered at what could be defined as some kind of concert but it really was not. There was a two story cylindrical device with a platform of stairs leading to the elevated platform with chairs and a table. There was a large crowd of people dressed up in Stargate crew attire holding toy versions of P-90, and most of them wore hats.

"I can't believe we are standing in the actual location where there is a Stargate." Elizabeth Taylor said.

"Me too," Her friend, Sarah Washington, stared at the gate where alongside it was a Dial Home Device. "I cannot believe that the government has been hiding this from the American people for so long."

"If they had then mass panic would have spread." Courtney Winters, a friend, slid up her glasses earning surprised glances from the two girls.

"We wouldn't want that." Washington said.

"You wouldn't know that for sure." Taylor said.

"Stargate SG-1 made sure to note this, Liz, Sarah," Winters said. "In countless episodes."

"But why reveal it now?" Washington asked.

"Because they discovered a race that is not the Aschens and is capable of defeating the Goa'uld," Winters suggested. "Likely the Vulcans or the Klingons.  Logically it _must_ be the Vulcans."

President Chester Stellar walked up the set of stairs to a wooden item set in the middle of the stage with Secret Service making sure to be at the stair cases of the stage. He waved his hand at the crowd of people cheering "SG-1! SG-1! SG-1!" Stellar lowered his head muttering, "That says more about my current problems than anything." in a voice that couldn't be heard. He lifted his head up with a smile.

Stellar noticed they were in military poses.

"At ease." Stellar said.

The large crowd relaxed.

"I am here to make a important announcement." Stellar said.

Winters stepped forward.

"Sir, when was the Stargate discovered?" Winters asked.

The president's smile grew even wider.

"This is _not_ a Stargate," Stellar said. Suddenly the Stargate starts moving making unusual sounds as the locks came into place. "The prop is made of plastic. Every part of this--" He walked over to the  DHD as the crystals in the gate glowed a light yellow-orangish. "Prop is made of plastic. All of it." He knocked hearing a hollow sound come back. "And this DHD. It, too, is not real. We are not saying this probable deniability is real but we are saying it is not real. Much as the show has given the US Air Force a positive light. . ." He came over to the wooden object with his originally planned speech on the surface. "It is not real."

"Sir," Winters said. "With all due respects if the Stargate program is not real . . .Then why is the gate moving?"

Stellar smiled at first, then it turned into a confused and startle reaction as he looked over.

"CHEVRON SIX ENCODED!" A high pitched male shouted.

Winters gasped at the working Stargate.

"Chevron seven has been locked!" A British fan shouted.

Stellar screamed running out of the way in the nick of time for a gust of what was apparently flowing water like substance destroying the wooden item completely. The gaters ducked covering their heads. The event horizon glowed a bright blue. Four people came out of the event horizon. The gaters stood up uncovering their heads. The Stargate closed behind the group of four. Among them were Teal'c, Jack O'Neill, Samantha Carter, and Jonas Quinn. Jonas stood there in shock seeing people dressed in SG uniforms staring blankly at them. There were camera crews close to the stage.

"Uh . . . Carter," O'Neill said. "This is not a warehouse."

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

"This is different." Carter said.

"FREEZE WITH YOUR HANDS UP!" The secret service agents took their guns out aiming in the direction of the crew.

O'Neill took his sunglasses off as the SG team aimed their weapons at the threatening secret service agents.

"Excuse me, but we just came here to explore a planet that is . . ." O'Neill started, he turned in the direction of Carter. "Carter."

"P5832-TU8ER-RTU3." Carter said.

"Yes, Planet Trust." O'Neill said. "We come in peace. My name is Colonel O'Neill and we just came through the chaal'pa or whatever the hell you call it."  He shook his hand. "We are explorers. And we are not to kick your human butt, however, we are here to kick some serpent rear villain cliche terribly dressed--"

Half of the secret service members fell back.

"Glowing eyed false gods." O'Neill finished.

"SG-1! SG-1! SG-1!" Their attention was diverted to the crowd of young adults chanting their team name.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

* * *

""Are we in a different quantum universe?" Jonas asked.

"No,  I don't think so," Carter said. "The probability is astromontical. . ."

"Last time it happened we were sent clear into 1969." O'Neill said.

"That was a solar flare." Carter said.

"Any chance we just went through one?" O'Neill asked.

"Negative, sir." Carter said.

Teal'c was on a laptop, sitting at a desk, looking up for the Stargate program. The keywords 'Stargate' brought up the news. A movie poster came up on a small box alongside a piece of text reading 'Stargate reboot movie has one 'L'.' Teal'c's eyebrow went up then he tapped on the screen lightly. The screen changed to a article full of pictures. He read the article over, intrigued, then his eyes said a lot of things. He read the comment section, as well, then glared what glare should be done at the screen.

"O'Neill."

O'Neill came over.

"What is it--" O'Neill stopped mid sentence. He gasped at the screen. "Hey, that is us!"

Carter and Jonas came over to see what made him say that.

"Except I am not in it." Jonas said.

"How could they have known about Daniel?. . ." Carter said.

"It is us,"  Teal'c said. The group of three looked at Teal'c. "Someone has gone back in time and influenced this society from _Stargate_ the movie. Starting from the event where Daniel Jackson met Jack O'Neil, saving Abydos, and defeating the false god Ra."

"There's a _movie_?" O'Neill said. 

"Affirmative." Teal'c said

"Oh for crying out loud!" O'Neill rubbed his face. "That is just wrong."

The door behind them opened.

"It is very accurate, colonel, from what your report said." They heard a familiar voice.

They all looked over their shoulders to see Colonel Simmons, visibly older, who had two armed guards by his side.  His hair had turned from black to gray. His eyes briefly glowed a light yellow then returned to its natural eye color. O'Neill glared back at the man who should have died way back when. In space. Carter appeared to be shocked at this news. Jonas was surprise. Teal'c only reaction was his unperturbed glare.

"Simmons." O'Neill turned in his direction.

"Hello,  Colonel O'Neill," Simmons said, in a otherwise Goa'uld voice. "I am unfortunate that we had to meet this way again."

"Well, neither am I," O'Neill said, coming forward. "What are you planning to do to this planet, Colonel?"

"It is Peter Deluise," Simmons said. "The Colonel and  I agreed to disagree on doing simply nothing upon my arrival. I expected to die burning up in the planet's atmosphere." O'Neill groaned, visibly annoyed, as Simmon's glared in his direction. "But I did not. Suffering a pain like that. Bones cracking. Skin heating up. Pain radiating all over the human body.  I should have broken up into pieces." Carter stepped forward soaking in the information. "I landed in the Bermuda Triangle."

"That makes a whole lot of sense." O'Neill said.

"The Asgard's counterparts healed me." Simmons said.

 "I correct myself: that makes no sense." O'Neill said.

"This is unlike the Asgard." Carter said.

"They gave me a ultimatum," Simmons went on. "That in exchange for my life I would not go in search of Goa'uld. My host agreed."

"This is unconvential." Carter said.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

"The Asgard are still studying your race." Simmons said.

"Hold on," Jonas said. "Are you telling me the gray little beings, four feet tall, gave you, a man twice their height, an ultimatum?"

"I was severely weakened when they saved my host body."  Simmons said.

"Oh." Jonas said.

"I suggested the idea of a Stargate to Emmerich," Simmons went on. "I watched him create a very unpleasent universe and then it be taken to one I am most familiar to. Soon as death was written off, whatever happened next I had to go off guessing and my imagination. I do not understand why my host did not turn to writing as a career."

Simmon's eyes turned yellow.

"And there is another me walking  around," Simmons said. "And the funny part? He portrayed _me_! Christopher Judge portraying Teal'c,Amanda Tapping portraying Major Carter, Richard Dean Anderson portraying Jack O'Neill, Michael Shank portraying Daniel Jackson, Don S Davis portraying General Hammond, Teryl Rothery portraying Janet Fraiser. And Corin Nemec portraying Jonas Quinn. You were not around for so long, Jonas, so forgive the poster for its lack of alien diversity. I insisted there be a poster for you. Strongly." He turned in the direction of O'Neill. "And humanity knows how much you like the major and the linguist. Gay Marriage was declared law of the land a few years ago."

"And I am surprised this RDA guy hasn't worked up the nerve to kill you."  O'Neill said.

"Sir, it seems . . . They are sharing the same body." Carter said.

"Not without its downsides," Simmons said. "Getting a family, making a life, getting a career, and not having to be fired? That is very difficult with a symbiotic being inside." The man shook his head. "I am only here to inform you the gate will be put in the right facility after your return home."

"Wait, wait, wait!" O'Neill stepped forward, one hand extended. "We just got here."

"You do not need to explore your own planet." Simmons said.

"This is not Earth." Jonas said.

"It is." Simmons said.

"That is impossible." Carter said.

"I have been around for two thousand years on this planet," Simmons said. "It is Earth. Just without the Goa'uld knowing about it. There is Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune — and Planet Nine."

"You had a lot of influence for a Goa'uld." O'Neill said.

"Planet Nine is just a theoretical planet." Carter said.

"It is not. Researched. Proven. And currently being named. It is not another Pluto incident." Simmons said.

"And what about the president?" Carter aske.

"Currently deciding what to do about this incident," Simmons said. "There is no naquahda on this planet. There has never been a Stargate program. They have been living without alien interference for as long as  I can remember. I came here in a time that was very rocky. They are currently working on Warp Drive on a one hundred year project called the IXS _Enterprise_."

"And they agreed!" O'Neill said.

"And it is Ringship." Simmons said.

"Ah, ringship? That has to be terrible." Jonas said.

"In fact it is not. It is a starship surrounded by rings that aids in its flight in space creating a forcefield like bubble around it," Simmons stepped forward. "We really like what we are doing attempting to somewhat aid in the progression of humanity while living without a sacophagus. You see, the asgard and I have a deal. Every fifty years I be taken into a pod. I sleep for fifty years. Sometimes without my knowledge it goes over fifty. This time I am not going with the deal.  I intend for my symbiote to die with me without them."

"So, no more death row for you?" O'Neill said.

"Sir, living would be death row for him anyway." Carter said.

"Then you are doing tax payers a favor."  O'Neill said.

"I know." Simmons said, grimly.

Teal'c stood up.

"You have claimed to have changed." Teal'c said.

"My symbiote has changed. I am just doing what is in my best interest. My legacy . . . It is all I have." His eye glowed yellow. "Do not attempt to escape. The president is currently calming down the crowd of Gaters and explaining why it cannot be used after your return. Do not attempt to meddle with this society. They are not ready. Trust me on this. They are not ready to know one show is real. They would think everything is real from Terminators, Star Wars, Xenomorphs, Star Trek, and so on. You understand what the president is dealing with."

"Mass hysteria."

"I have only ran once for president and I failed," Simmons added. "I did it for fun."

"'Fun'?" Jonas said. "You would have been exposed quickly."

"I would have." Simmons said.

"And you would be dead by now." Jonas added.

"There was a moment in time where I had been dead, but I am not." Simmons said.

"Someone assassinated you, then your loved ones buried you, and then you dug your way out." O'Neill said.

Simmons's eyes glowed yellow.

"Simmons did the digging, if that is any difference," Simmons said. "In six hours, you will be taken to the gate. Do not attempt to harm the agents. They are only doing their job. And you will be questioned one by one regarding who you are and where you are from. Maybe in pairs of two. And hopefully, they will be convinced and return your weapons."

"You are being nice." Jonas said.

"Too nice." O'Neill agreed.

"On the other hand I could order your execution with a inside source but I am not," Simmons said. "I am sparing your lives."

"You are acting as their protector." Teal'c acknowledged.

Simmons briefly lowered his head with a sad sigh then looked back up.

"I will not be here long." Simmons said.

"We will lock the planet out from the dialing system." Cart4er said.

"Thank you,Major Carter." Simmons shed a smile then he walked out as his eyes turned yellow.

* * *

 "Where are you from?" Agent Talowsky said. 

O'Neill was in the interrogation room, arms folded, leaned back in the chair.

"Minnesota. Do you like fishing?" O'Neill said.

"Who are you?" Talowsky  asked.

"James T. Kirk of the _USS Enterprise._ " O'Neill said.

"What does the T stand for, Mr Kirk?" Talowsky asked.

"Thomas." O'Neill said.

"No. It is Tiberius." Talowsky said.

"You are wrong, Agent," O'Neill said. "It is Thomas."

"Tiberius."   Talowsky said.

"Thomas." O'Neill said.

"What makes you think it is Thomas?" Talowsky asked.

O'Neill glared back at Talowsky.

"Would you like to say it out loud?" O'Neill said.

"Yes." Talowsky said.

"Say it out loud." O'Neill said.

"James Ti--" Talowsky was interrupted by O'Neill.

"Not _that_." O'Neill cut him off.

"James Thomas Kirk." Talowsky said.

"Now does that sound legendary?" O'Neill asked.

"No, sir." Talowsky said.

"So he wouldn't mention it is Thomas because it is so silly not even around his friend and he prefers to be called Jim instead of Thomas or Tom," O'Neill said. "Truth to be told he hates it. My name is Jack O'Neill with two 'l's."

"Who do you serve?" Talowsky asked.

"I serve Stargate command. But then again you already know that." O'Neill said.

"What is Stargate command?" Talowsky asked.

"You know." O'Neill said.

"I do not." Talowsky said.

"Then why did almost all the secret service agents faint?" O'Neill asked.

"You are not real." Talowsky said.

"Flesh and blood, of course I am." O'Neill said.

"Are you from a alternate universe?" Talowsky asked.

"It does not look that way. But do you enjoy fishing?" O'Neill said.

"Yes." Talowsky said.

"If I am right there is a me out there who is assassinating people and you might want to check lake for a couple bodies. Lack of humor. Dry. Strictly follows protocol. Insane maybe, hair is still in place," He combed through his hair with his free hand. "Unlike this hair. It is wild!"

Talowsky stared at O'Neill.

"Go check. You should know where I live."

* * *

"Eighteen bodies were discovered in the lake outside of Jonathan Jack O'Neil's cottage--"

Carter turned the TV off.

"Eighteen." Carter said, looking over in the direction of O'Neill. 

"You are not a serial killer." Teal'c said.

"I am  . . . utterly dissapointed it was eighteen." O'Neill said.

Jonas was currently being interrogated by Agent Talowsky.

"It is surprising indeed that your counterpart killed eighteen people." Teal'c agreed.

"I cannot picture you as a serial killer, sir."  Carter said.

Carter turned the TV on with a click of a button.

"--O'Neil is being taken into FBI custody for the discovery of a recently decomposed body belonging to a senator that has been positively identified as Senator Richard Kinsey."

Carter and Teal'c looked in the direction of O'Neill.

"Wow," O'Neill said. "That was unexpected. I wonder what drove him to kill that ass."

"Not much given how the other O'Neill might be nothing like you." Teal'c commented.

* * *

 

"Jonas, how did it go?" O'Neill asked.

"Well, I basically figured out that Talowsky is cheating on his wife with his partner Agent Harriet," Jonas said. "I cut the interrogation short."

"That is a clever tactic." Teal'c said.

"I had nothing to tell him and he had nothing to tell me." Jonas said, with a shrug.

"I have an idea." O'Neill said.

Teal'c turned his head in the direction of O'Neill.

"We are going to fix the reboot's ending." O'Neill said.

"And how are we going to do that?" Jonas asked.

"Michael Shanks," O'Neill said. "He is going to be in for a cameo. By any chance Emmerich will be on the set. We are going to sneak in a cameo of a new generation of SG-1. Just to reassure the fans we are still out there exploring. By indirectly convincing Michael Shanks to convince Emmerich to make a scene that implies just because there is a reboot does not mean we do not exist. I understand that much about timelines that diverge from various points in time."

"Daniel Jackson will not be happy that we are using him." Teal'c said.

"He is not Daniel,T." O'Neill said.

"That development might change the movie entirely." Jonas said.

"Five minutes is not going to change anything," O'Neill said. "Not in the reboot that is. Somehow they can allude to what leads to the ending in the movie." O'Neill looked down toward his wrist watch taking the strap off the watch. "You are going to have to meet us at the gate in three hours."

* * *

Apparently someone gave Simmons bad information.

Instead Carter, Jonas, and O'Neill were forced to be on the run while Teal'c put on his best disguise. Hat covering his first prime symbol, a gray coat, and he stole someone's wallet. Someone who was staying in rehab for the better part of two weeks. Teal'c tracked where Michael Shanks was using the internet. Which was collectively his best source. He bought a burner phone, and three other phones for the team. He made sure to leave the phones in a location they once hid out.

Teal'c was very certain they would come here.

Now here he was sitting in a airplane, that was very noisy, and loud music being played.

There was going to be several hours on this journey.

"Thank you for helping us save O'Neill, Daniel Jackson."  Teal'c said to no one in particular.

Teal'c could sense a presence that wasn't there.

"Pardon me, who are you talking to?" An older man who was--That was a shocker.

"Harrison Ford." Teal'c said.

"Christopher Judge. Nice to see you again." Harrison said as he recognized Teal'c with a pleased smile.

He bowed his head.

"It is my honor." Teal'c said.

Harrison raised an eyebrow.

"You are heading to Egypt?" Harrison said.

"Affirmative." Teal'c said.

"I have a friend in Egypt." Harrison said.

"As do I." Teal'c said.

"I am visiting him." Harrison said.

Teal'c looked over in the direction of Harrison with a raised eyebrow.

"You are a friend of Michael Shanks?" Teal'c said.

"Not him," Harrison said. "He wants to pilot a new plane he made with me."

"Is it anything like fishing?" Teal'c said.

"Not really." Harrison said.

"Unfortunately I would like to attempt piloting a new 'plane' but I am on a dire task." Teal'c said.

"What is that?" Harrison asked.

"To make a cameo of SG-1 possible."  Teal'c said.

"Cameron, Vala,Teal'c, Carter, and Daniel?" Harrison asked.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow at the two names that were unfamiliar to him then he lowered it.

"Affirmative," Teal'c said. "Daniel Jackson's involvement is very significant."

"Because you want to be in the movie." Harrison said.

"Negative," Teal'c said. "To reassure the fanbase the movie is not disrespecting their beloved series. I will do Kelno'reem."

Teal'c turned his head away and then closed his eyes.

* * *

 "You did what?" Taylor raised her voice.

"Someone had to help them." Washington said,

"You picked them up at a hotel without any regard to how this might pan out to you, Washington!" Taylor said.

"Winters told me--" Washington said.

"Winters is not the one who has to deal with the federal government on their ass after this is over. Your parents are going to be royally pissed and likely get some form of impeding doom that involves twenty-four-seven surveillance!  I know you like to help people but this is going too far!" Taylor said.

"Would you have wanted them to die rather than return home?" Washington said.

"I rather them being in the right custody rather than being shot on sight. That is not the justice system we know." Taylor said.

"Hey, that only happens because the wrong man is on the other end of the gun." Washington said.

"Someone will have to tell your parents that they are in the basement." Taylor said.

"I will do it." Washington said.

"When?" Taylor asked.

"On Friday." Washington said.

"And it so happens your basement is a man cave." Taylor said.

"My step-dad made it but he never uses it." Washington said.

"You are damn lucky your parents were not home when you likely brought them over!" Taylor said.

"I know." Washington said.

"If you don't tell your parents on Friday then I will."  Taylor said.

 "Agreed." Washington said,

Taylor glared at Washington.

"Have you been hanging around Van Helen and Winters longer than I think you have?" Taylor said. "You don't agree with me that often."

A smirk grew on Washington's face.

"No, not really." Washington said

"They are insane! Claiming  to have met Spock and Kirk and McCoy. They have infected you." Taylor said.

"No one is going to believe us after this is over." Washington said.

"So?" Taylor said.

"You are my friend and as a friend you must apologize to Van Helen for what you said to her. We are going to be in their position." Washington said.

"Damn it."  Taylor said.

"Don't I know it." Washington said.

* * *

Shanks was sitting in his chair reading what part of the script he was in. He was going to be portraying one of the people on Abydos. They were, quite simply, in Egypt. There was a Stargate prop built. Emmerich was working with several of the other actors with George Clooney portraying Jack O'Neil with one 'L'. Anderson did not honestly like this version of O'Neill and neither did Shanks. This version wasn't relate-able for the audience. He did not believe this would turn out the way they wanted. It would honestly flop.

Gaters loved Stargate the TV-Franchise.

And the two SG-1 movies that it spawned.

And the three TV series that were spun off.

The gaters liked to believe the animated series and _Stargate Universe_ never existed.

Shanks liked to think that way, too.

"Daniel Jackson."

Shanks looked up to see a familiar face with a golden symbol embedded on his forehead.

"Christopher," Shanks said. "How has the production been for Gator Street?"

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"I am unaware of this 'Gator Street'," Teal'c said. "Can I speak with you in private?"

"You are filming a scene for the movie I am not aware of?" Shanks asked.

"Negative." Teal'c said.

"But that eyeliner!" Shanks said. "You always wear that when you are portraying Teal'c and the emblem on your forehead. Emmerich said there was not going to be Teal'c."

"I am Teal'c." Teal'c said.

"Method acting?" Shanks asked.

"This is not my method of acting. I am not a thespian, Daniel Jackson, and if I were it would be less up front." Teal'c said.

"I am not portraying Daniel Jackson, you know." Shanks said.

Teal'c saw a set of rings appear with Jaffa appearing out of no where. He did not appear to be troubled but rather, calmly, walked right past the chair and the table of snacks. Shanks looked over his shoulder, utterly confused, where he saw a pair of individuals (who he was aware was not written into the script) aiming what appeared to be their spears in Teal'c's direction. Teal'c subdued the first Jaffa. "SHOLVA!" was shouted by one of the Jaffa. The third and forth Jaffa fired being sent face first to the ground by Teal'c's spear blasting. In the chaos that unfolded the people there fled and there were a fair share of screams. The fifth Jaffa was killed by snapping his neck.

Shanks froze in place watching the lone Jaffa standing in front of the conscious Jaffa on the ground. 

"Anubis is a false god," Teal'c said,aiming the spear under the chin of the warrior. "Help me save this planet."

"And if I refuse?" The Warrior Jaffa, Hig'tac, asked.

"You will expire without honor." Teal'c said.

There were guns aimed at Teal'c and Hig'tac.

"DO NOT SHOOT!" Shanks was behind directly one of the agents. "Teal'c is with us." The first agent's eyes darted at the Jaffa then to the actor. "They are the first of what can be arguably an army. First taking out the defense systems, then firing to the climate making everyone scared of them, and then there being ground troops."

"Ground troops?" The second man said.

"He can stop that with his friends. Where are they anyway?" Shanks asked.

There was no reply from Teal'c whose glare was fixated on the warrior Jaffa.

"He pledged his allegiance to the Tau'ri," Shanks said. "And very loyal. Do you know why you are even able to be on the scene while  everyone is producing a cult classic?"

The guns lowered.

"Thank you,  Daniel Jackson." Teal'c said.

* * *

Hig'tac returned to the mothership without his men, however around him was three marines (and Shanks) with bullet proof vests underneath the Goa'uld armor and Teal'c alongside them. Most of them had weapons that could be deemed harmful by gun protesters. Hig'tac and Teal'c had their respective spears. The doors opened to reveal one of Anubis's commanders Richak. Shank's was among the group because _"I have used the prop with those hieroglyphics to open the doors and read some of the props. The props are not accurate hieroglyphics. A modern day linguist won't be able to read them."_

"Accept that Anubis is a false god and join our cause, or else you will expire." Hig'tac said.

"SHOLVA!" Richak shouted.

The spear fired into the jaffa's torso and then another shot quickly took care of the symbiote.

"Prepare for a fleet of the Jaffa," Teal'c said. "I cannot guarantee your survival. All of you."

"This is not a movie after all," Shanks said. "But you being here makes the chance being slim. The two of you really. We all knew what we were getting into."

"Let us go." Hig'tac said.

The group walked into what could be defined as a suicide mission.

They all knew it was extremely unlikely that Anubis was aboard this mothership.

* * *

"Welcome back, SG-1," Hammond noticed that Teal'c was not among the group. "Where is Teal'c?"

"Well, Hammond," O'Neill said. "As I tried to tell you. He is busy back on another planet with some rebel Jaffa saving a entire planet. People don't take too liking to us. Because  we were on Earth."

"He means Earth 2, general." Carter said, covering the side of her shoulder that was wrapped with a bathroom towel around the injury.

"Earth. . . 2?" Hammond said.

"Simmons is still alive," O'Neill said, as the event horizon dissipated behind the group. "Been stranded on Earth 2. According to the inhabitants they were not transferred from another planet to their planet."

"No Goa'uld?" Hammond asked.

"Well, until today." Jonas said.

"Theoretically, General," Carter said. "Unlike us, they came from Mars."

"President Stellar  gives his regards,"  O'Neill said. "Carter, go to the infirmary and get your wound treated."

"Yes,sir." Carter said.

Carter went down the platform.

"How far are they, Colonel?" Hammond asked.

"They don't have Warp drive," O'Neill said. "Someone switched out the prop gate with the real thing."

"Real?" Hammond asked.

"I need a good shower," O'Neill said. "I will explain in the next debriefing."

* * *

Hig'tac sat on the edge of a death glider laid on the edge of a mountain side sitting alongside Teal'c.

"Too bad we cannot rebel with this version of the Tau'ri."

"They have been incorporating alien technology, logically,that means they can defend themselves. They will be able to penetrate Anubis's shields in a few decades for this planet. At least they can bring sufficient damage to the motherships."

Hig'tac nodded.

"I did not expect a internal attack to be done first and then being the exterior attack."

"Asgard technology has come in handy for the  Tau'ri. These relatives should not be challenged by those superior to them."

"Indeed."

"Your family?"

"My wife and daughter .  .  . They will be ostracasized."

"Not if you take them to a rebel camp."

"I have only heard rumors."

"It is well hidden."

"Impressive."

"Indeed."

"I hope we meet again,Teal'c."

"You do not expect us to meet once  more?"

"Being rebels has death on our heads. My . . . I want my daughter to be free."

"We will achieve this."

"I hope to see that day."

"Your resistance was impressive. And taking down the Jaffa who believed Anubis was a god. It seems you enjoyed what you did."

"The humans will be coming to collect the death gliders. You should return to the planet you call home."

"In a few days. I am establishing relations between Earths."

"If the system lords knew of this planet. . ."

"I do not think of that and neither should you."

"You call Michael Shanks by a different name. Why?"

"He is Daniel Jackson."

"In ways he is."

"Indeed."

"You miss him."

"He was a fine warrior."

"I heard he died."

"He ascended."

Hig'tac's eyebrow went up.

"Ascended?"

"He is on another plane of existence, a new powerful lifeform."

"Fascinating."

"Indeed."

* * *

"Earth 2 has a similar history like ours,except there is no Wormhole Extreme for deniability," Carter explained. "It is Stargate  SG-1."

"Simmons picked up a new life on Earth as Peter Deluise thanks to the Asgard's interference," O'Neill said. "He fell through the Bermuda Triangle. From what I understand, because of  Thor, he fell into a time vortex fail safe that sent him into his ship when orbiting  Earth. Thor pitied the guy, made a deal, and instead kept him in a pod for likely two hundred years per visit every twenty to fifty years."

"Can we get him back?" Hammond asked.

"No, Hammond," O'Neill said. "He does not intend to die in death row. For what it is worth. He is not going into a stasis pod. Instead, he will live out two hundred years and die alone far as I understand his deal." He leaned forward putting his hands together. "Somewhere likely isolated. . ."

_There is a scene of a very old Simmons in a wheelchair, his symbiote weak, staring out the window. He is holding a picture in his wrinkled stubby fingers. The door to his room was closed. His hair was completely gray and he had more wrinkles on his face than he had before. It seemed like he had been through a aging form of hell but otherwise recognizable. His arm weakly moved to the arm rest with the photograph._

"And far away from people."

_His fingers let go of the picture._

"No help what so ever."

_Simmon's eyes flashed golden,briefly, and then  the color faded as the life vanished from his eyes._

"No one will be there for him."

_The picture crashed to the ground shattering the glass into pieces._

"And the Goa'uld inside of him will finally be dead. And the host will be too."

_The scene panned over the photograph of a family photograph with countless generations of people around Simmons back when his hair was turning to gray and he looked happy in the picture. Truly happy. There were sounds of children laughter coming from the bright light spilling out of the window. Our view goes into the brightness where the dead eyes are focused on making the scenery vanish in a bright flash of light._

"And the technology?" Hammond asked.

"Compared to our technology, we will be caught up with them in a decade." Jonas said.

"Steve Jobs is dead on Earth 2, and Leonard Nimoy too, and Alan Rickman." O'Neill said.

"There is a good probability that these people are going to be alive on our Earth in 2016 instead of being dead." Carter added.

"So everyone who is dead on that planet will be alive on our Earth when the years come for them to die?" Hammond asked.

"They will not die." O'Neill nodded his head, putting one hand on Carter's arm stopping  her from interjecting.

"So Simmons invented Stargate SG-1." Hammond said.

The three nodded.

"And there will be a reboot coming up." Jonas said.

"A honestly wrecking ball reboot." O'Neill said.

"And there won't be a Stargate command due to the events of the movie far as I heard," Carter said. "We may have accidentally revealed the Stargate to a unprepared public, sir."

* * *

"So you are Teal'c?" Came a familiar but older voice.

Teal'c looked at the man who had gray hair but otherwise looked fine. He must have been using botox or something close to that, or using nothing at all. Teal'c thought of how O'Neill first appeared when he first met him as first prime of Apophis. The claim that sounded like it would be carried out, just this time. He didn't have  a scar on his right eyebrow.

"You must be Richard Dean Anderson." Teal'c said.

"Yes, I am." Anderson said.

"You are ultimately responsible for the creation of my  teammates on this planet." Teal'c said.

"Yes, I am." Anderson said.

Teal'c bowed his head at first muttering, "Thank you."

Anderson was at first surprised by that.

"No, thank you for saving our world." Anderson said.

"No Teal'c should be without the group who freed his people," Teal'c said. "In the hundred years I have lived. They have become the closets mortal beings I have as a family. Major Carter the working older sister. Daniel Jackson the little brother who gets himself into trouble. Doctor Fraiser the caring grandparent. Hammond the grandfather who cares about the crew. O'Neill the big brother who is responsible."

"And where do you fit in?" Anderson asked.

"The fully grown adult male in the household." Teal'c said.

"They are a lot like children, aren't they?" Anderson asked.

"Affirmative." Teal'c said.

"Damn, Judge is so spot on with you." Anderson said.

"They are a handful." Teal'c said.

"Like a jungle gym." Anderson said.

"Not necassarily." Teal'c said.

"Not in that order, I see." Anderson said.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.

"Keep saving the universe, will you?" Anderson said.

"I will endeavor to continue working with the Tau'ri." Teal'c said.

"Did you know you are loyal as Huchiko?"Anderson said.

"The Akita." Teal'c said.

"If you were an animal. That would be you. That is just my opinion. I had this conversation with Judge and he seems to think you would make  a great German Shepard." Anderson said.

"Interesting, Richard Dean Anderson." Teal'c said.

* * *

"This is a Stargate," Stellar said, to a crowd of people. "It works by two worm holes connecting to one another. Matter is processed and put back together once it goes through. It is like the transporter except going through entire galaxies through one transportation device not a starship. We will continue our efforts on Warp Drive until it can be possible. The one hundred year project, the _IXS Enterprise_ , is our prime example of what we can do without outside help."

_A gigantic starship with two pairs of rings around it with thrusters in the back end is seen. This is a ringship that seems relatively different. The decks on the ring sides were perfectly balanced, the gravity was well kept, and the life support system was in its own section. The rings spun around the starship. Near the cockpit is the starship designation. At the cockpit are five people sitting down in chairs manning their stations. The fifth person being the captain. The first person being the navigator. The second person being the pilot. The third being the chief engineer. The fourth being the communications officer._

"One day we will go into space."

_The IXS Enterprise went into warp drive vanishing in a haze of blue._

"Discover new civilizations, explore new worlds, and boldly go where. . ."

_The IXS Enterprise appeared above a earth like planet covered in trees seemingly with bodies of water._

"No one has gone before."

And they cheered.

* * *

 "Hey Teal'c," Shanks said. "I  like to personally thank you for saving my life up there."

"You are welcome." Teal'c said.

"Tell me. . . Was he really that great?" Shanks asked.

"Daniel Jackson always has and always will be the most preferably linguist to be part of SG-1." Teal'c said.

A smile grew on the actor's face.

"You are a hero, Teal'c." Shanks said.

Teal'c bowed his head.

"As are you." Teal'c said.

"I know but you took my ass out of there when I wanted to explore the treasure room." Shanks said. "I could have died there if it were booby trapped!" Teal'c replied with "It was booby trapped." However the actor held his hand up. "The point is: I owe you. Humanity owes you twice over."

"I have learned greed is a human aspect that no one can be rid of. It can be overcome but not cured." Teal'c said.

"That is wise." Shanks sid.

"Affirmmative." Teal'c said.

"Is there something I can do you?" Shanks asked. "You never got to tell me why you went to Egypt for mee. Anything you want. You name it."

Teal'c stood inches away from the event horizon as a smile grew on his face.

"Indeed, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. "There is."

* * *

"I just got off the phone with the president.  The other president."

O'Neill looked up from the bouncy ball in his hand toward the general.

"And?" O'Neill asked.

"They want plans on how to enter motherships," Hammond said. "And their own SGC set up to combat threats against the Goa'uld. Purely Earth bound. They intend to fix their own problems before going out to explore their galaxy."

O'Neill had a smile.

"We should warn them about the black hole and a few other important matters." O'Neill said.

"That's what you are going to do, Colonel." Hammond said.

The smile on O'Neill's face had faded.

"How long do you give them to start exploring?" O'Neill stood up from the chair

"Next hundred years." Hammond said.

"I will hand deliver it myself. They need a familiar face," O'Neill said.  "Don't you think?"

Hammond had a smile.

"Of course." Hammond said.

* * *

By 2018, Stargate the movie made  forty-five million dollars in the first few days it had been released. There were forums, comment sections to articles, and countless fanfictions set up in the name of the new Stargate universe that had not the SG-1 humor most Gaters were familiar to. But the adjustment was easy. Asides to Abydos being destroyed by the Goa'uld in this reboot, there was one significant ending that stood out to the fandom. The ending of the movie. Five extra irrelevant minutes based on a scene in Chayenne Mountain Stargate Command.

This is those five minutes.

"Teal'c!" Came a blonde young man poking his way into the room of a dark man strikingly resembling Will Smith.

Wait a second that was Will Smith with a golden emblem getting on the brown-green jacket.

"I am coming, Daniel  Jackson." Teal'c replied, looking over his shoulder.

The blonde man is, apparently, Chris Pine, grinning from ear to ear.

"We are going to explore a paradise planet," Daniel said. "Just imagine what the culture must be."

"I can." Teal'c said, getting on the vest as well. He picked up the staff weapon.

"Maybe I will find Sha'ri this time." Daniel said.

"There is a good chance we will come across her."  Teal'c said.

"I hope we do." Daniel said.

Daniel left, with hope uplifted in his heart, hope that he went through the stargate thinking 'maybe this is the planet where I will find Sha'ri. Maybe, just maybe'. It was wishful thinking on Daniel's part. He loved her more than anything. He loved to help others. It was a thing he could do.

The scene drifted over to the gate room.

"My name has two 'L's, Carter." O'Neill, there was a much different in the place where Richard Dean Anderson would be standing, said standing alongside a woman with longer blonde hair that rested on her shoulders. She did not wear a skirt or a dress but rather pants.

"I am just saying, sir," Carter said. "I can't spell your name right in my reports."

"Now you know." O'Neill said.

Daniel came into the gate room where he could see the event horizon.

"Maybe Shaara is on this planet." Daniel said.

O'Neill glared in the direction of Daniel.

"Hopefully not," O'Neill said. "If he was. We would be dead by the time we step in."

Carter shook her head, amused.

"A part of the host survives," Daniel said. "You saw how it happened to one of our own."

O'Neill briefly closed his eyes.

"I remember." O'Neill said.

Teal'c came into the room.

"I am prepared for the mission." Teal'c said.

O'Neill appeared to be pleased.

"All accounted for!" O'Neill said, turning his head away and shifted himself toward the event horizon laying before them. "Let's go, kiddos. Time to explore or save a planet! Maybe both if we are lucky!"

O'Neill put on a pair of sunglasses.

"Just another day on the job." Carter said, putting her pair of sunglasses on as well.

Daniel put on his sun hat as they started walking up the platform to the event horizon.

"Indeed." Teal'c said.  
  
"Good luck, SG-1." Came a different voice likely belonging to the actor portraying General Hammond.

And in they went into the event horizon.

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE: 4/9/2016/ I will properly give this a lengthy and more thought out storyline and it will be called _This is not a Stargate_ just without the 'c' signs around 'not'. It is likely to be five chapters when I embark on this journey and this story will act as a rough guide. Due to reviews on Fan Fiction Net that have shed light on how to improve the story and give its message across, I will do this rewrite. I hope there are some of you who enjoyed this story. ^.^


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